Tasi Wilson is a proud husband and pāpā of four - two ‘angel babies’, and two living girls. He was born in Apia, Samoa, raised in the villages of Sa'aga Siumu on his Mum’s side & Samata i Uta Fagamalo on his Dad’s side. Tasi came to Aotearoa in 2004, where he now lives in Tāmaki Makaurau for mahi, while with his wife, Tina Allen-Mokaraka (Ngāpuhi) and daughters, Blessing and Clare live in Northland. Tasi and Tina’s daughter, Carosika Kinaya Wilson was born on the 9th of August 2014 at 23 weeks and 6 days, she then passed away 1 hour and 16 minutes after natural birth. 

Sudden, unexpected loss at 23 weeks

Preterm birth wasn’t something Tina and Tasi had expected or were prepared for. During Tina’s pregnancy they hadn’t been given information about preterm birth and they knew nothing about preterm birth signs and symptoms. When Tina awoke in pain one night, almost 24 weeks into her pregnancy, her waters hadn’t broken and she wasn’t bleeding. It was only when an ambulance arrived that they learned that the pain was preterm labour.

Care and support from health professionals after preterm loss

When Tina was admitted to hospital the staff struggled to clearly explain what was going on and what to expect. They tried to contact their midwife, but didn’t get any response. A day passed, then a week, then a month and the couple still hadn’t heard from the person they expected to advocate for them at a time when they didn’t know what was happening, or what to do.

While they felt let down by their midwife and other health professionals, Tina and Tasi are grateful for the respect and care they were given by the Bereavement Care team, who were with them throughout their time in hospital. With their support, Tina and Tasi were able to spend time with Carosika, dress her and take moulds of her hands and feet. Tasi says, “It made me happy being able to dress our baby, having those moments with her, it didn't feel real that she was gone already. Meeting her… it changed my life. And then seeing her gone, it was really hard.”

It also meant a lot to Tasi and Tina to have their whānau/aiga with them in hospital after Carosika passed, which made them feel that their culture could be respected and their needs supported.

Support for pāpā

Tasi says that pāpā need to support their partners and whānau, but they also need to look after their own wellbeing. For Tasi,  being active, getting out and going to the gym or spending time with friends helped. Having the opportunity to meet and talk with pāpā who had been through a similar experience is also helpful. “It is a good thing to talk to dads, you know, just kind of like, to distract your mind from the weight and the stress that you've been through with losing a baby. It’s really hard, and you’ve been through a lot of stuff.”

Keeping Carosika’s memory alive

Blessing and Clare have grown up knowing that they have two older siblings. Their sister, Carosika, and Angel, another sibling who Tina miscarried earlier in pregnancy. Their whānau refer to them as their “angel babies”, and Blessing and Clare frequently talk about them. Tasi says, “we told them that their sister is a butterfly and their bigger sibling is an angel. Today they openly talk to us about their angel siblings. We visit Carosika and her Aunty and Papa now when we are up North. When the girls draw at school, they always draw a butterfly in a family picture. Tina and I are proud of the girls - their hearts are big and filled with love. Angel and Carosika will live forever in us and in Blessing & Clare.”

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Laa faaiu le tatou mataupu I leni itula Ou te muamua lava ona si’i le vi’iga I le Atua ana le seinona lau afioga ma tou te le faatasi I lenei itula faafetai tele tama i lau puipuiga ia tei matou ae maise foi fomai olo matou faatasi ai foi ma fai gei galuega lo ma tou tama faafetai foi I le au faigaluega ua matou faatasi ai o sina tala pu’upu’u lena I le suafa o iesu amene

First of all I would like to give thanks to our Heavenly Father if it wasn’t for Him we wouldn’t be gathering here today and thanks to everyone that’s behind the group in Jesus Name

Amen

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The Carosika Collaborative

Tasi and his wife, Tina, have been involved with the Carosika Collaborative since its beginning and have always been willing to share their experience and story. Carosika's early birth and loss has been a driver for them to dedicate their time to advocate for other whānau. Learn more about Carosika and Tina and Tasi’s involvement with the Carosika Collaborative here.